Outgrowing relationship

Is It Normal to Outgrow a Relationship?

In our lives, we may come across many different people from all walks of life. Friendships come and go as we move in different directions, and it’s the same for relationships. You may find that you have been happy within your relationship for months, or even years, but now something seems different, or just plain off. 

You may feel like you no longer have anything in common with your partner or no common ground to share. This can be disheartening as you will feel that something is missing, and you’re unsure what to do about it. It may be a case that you have grown out of your relationship.

So, let’s take a closer look at why this happens, what it means to outgrow someone, and the common signs that this has happened in your relationship. 

What Does Outgrowing a Relationship Mean?

In life, we are constantly changing as people. You will not be the same person you were ten years ago, or maybe even two or three years ago. In a few years’ time, you won’t be the same person that you are now. When we go through different experiences, trauma, or transitions in our lives, we are sculpted into new people, with varying interests and personality traits.

As a result, your friendship group may change from time to time and over the years, as you’ll find that you have similar interests or things in common with other people. Outgrowing a relationship is when you feel you or the other person has changed, and the relationship no longer seems to fit your needs or desires anymore. Nothing major may have necessarily happened, you just may find that you no longer want the same things you once did. 

Why Do We Outgrow Relationships?

In simple terms, not every relationship will stand the test of time. Most of the time, relationships come to a natural close when you and your significant other do not grow together as you may have anticipated. You may grow apart or realize that you both want different things. 

Outgrowing a relationship also doesn’t necessarily mean that you no longer love your partner. You could still be as in love with them as ever, but you’ve realized that you’re going in different directions. 

You may have had discussions about the future, and decided you didn’t want children for example, which seemed fine at the beginning of the relationship, but when one of you changes your mind, and the other doesn’t – it can be a real deal breaker. 

Other reasons could be that your career is taking off, and you may need to move away to focus on your profession, but your partner is in a different stage in their life or does not want to move. You may have different priorities, especially when it comes to finances. One partner may want to save money for a home or to settle down and get married, while the other wants to spend their money.

In short, outgrowing a relationship is no one’s fault; it is just a case of wanting different things for yourselves, and weighing whether those things are worth sacrificing to be with the one you love. If it’s not, then you may have outgrown them, and want to move on with your life. 

Signs You Have Outgrown Someone

  • When you don’t see a future together
  • You no longer feel like you want to spend time together
  • You have different priorities
  • You want different things
  • Being with them is draining
  • There are more bad days than good
  • You are going in different directions
  • Your goals/beliefs/morals no longer align
  • Your partner resents your achievements/success

If you think that you have outgrown your partner, then it may be time to go your separate ways and do what is best for your mental well-being.

Contact Integrative Psychotherapy Group

Reach out to Integrative Psychotherapy Group for counseling if you are finding that you need support to make the best decision for your life.