You haven’t been happy in your relationship for a while. Maybe you’ve realized that the two of you simply have different goals for life, or maybe you’ve finally accepted that your values just aren’t compatible. Perhaps the two of you have been fighting more than ever, and you’ve seen that your partner doesn’t consider your needs when they make decisions that affect both of you.
No matter your reasoning, you’re gearing up to end things. Yet every time you think you’re ready to sit down with your partner and have that difficult conversation, you freeze up, and you can’t go through with it. You can’t help it. Even though you’re ready to call it quits, you feel guilty about
breaking things off with your partner. Here’s how to put your own needs first and let go of your guilt.
Your Partner’s Emotions Aren’t Your Responsibility
Remember, you and your partner are both adults. While you shouldn’t insult them, put them down, or say anything unnecessarily cruel when you break up with them, it’s not your responsibility to put their happiness before your own well-being. It’s ultimately up to them to handle their emotions. You don’t have to push your happiness to the back burner for their sake.
You Owe Your Future Self Happiness
When you think about staying with your partner, your future doesn’t look so bright. Deep down, you know you’ll be able to rebuild your life and thrive without them. Your partner may even be holding you back from goals you’ve always wanted to achieve. You owe it to your future self to make the decision you know is right for you. If you choose your partner over your future self, you’ll inevitably look back and regret it one day.
Remember Why You’re Ending Things
If you’ve been thinking about breaking up with your partner for a while, there’s clearly a good reason behind it. But when you’re on the verge of telling them how you feel, and part of you wants to stay silent, remember why you started feeling this way in the first place. You didn’t just decide to break up with them randomly. Clearly, there is a reason why you feel that you’re no longer compatible.
Practice Gratitude for the Good Times
You might feel guilty because you’re remembering the good times that you and your partner had, and you almost wonder if you should simply work harder at repairing your relationship so that you can bring those “good old days” back. It’s okay to spend a moment for two feeling gratitude for those
good times. Even after your breakup, you’ll occasionally look back on a happy moment with your ex and smile at the memory. But just because you’re grateful for your past together does not mean that you have to share a future, too.
Forgive Yourself
Finally, forgive yourself for being the one to speak up and break things off. Remember, there’s a good chance that your partner is secretly unhappy, too. They just might not feel confident enough to state what’s really on their mind. If you’re not right for each other, ending the relationship now will be the best choice for both of you in the long run.
You don’t need to keep dragging things out. The longer you stay together, the harder it will be to say that it’s over. Instead, do the right thing now, and then forgive yourself if you feel guilty.
Are You Still Struggling With The Breakup?
Are you struggling with guilt over your decision to end a relationship? Talking to a therapist can help you heal. Reach out to Integrative Psychotherapy Group today to discuss your options for
scheduling your first session.
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