You tell yourself you just want to check on their page. You click through a few profile pictures, photo albums, and posts. Before you know it, you’re in a deep spiral years and years back.
You just wanted to check in on them. You figured you’d only be a couple of minutes, but here you are, an hour plus later still on their page.
What are you even looking for? Why did you feel the need to keep scrolling? Why can’t you seem to stop checking in on them?
They’re your partner. You text, call, and see them in person. You shouldn’t feel the need to hide behind your computer screen or phone and keep tabs on them.
You’re not even sure what you’re doing anymore. Checking their page has become somewhat of a habit for you. It started as something you did every now and then. But that quickly turned into once a month, a couple times a week, and now on a consistent daily basis.
Let’s find out why cyberstalking your partner isn’t okay.
Communication and Trust are Key
Communication is key in any type of relationship. When you have a partner, you need to make sure you’re communicating with one another in an open and honest way. Communication can happen in person, over the phone, or digitally. In today’s world, there are a lot of different ways to communicate. Communicating doesn’t involve creeping on someone’s social media page without them realizing you’re doing it though. If you’re spending a good chunk of your time secretly checking up on them, it proves that you’re not trusting them and that they can’t trust you either.
Not Seeing the Full Picture
Social media is everyone’s highlight reel. They post things that may not show the whole picture. If you’re scrolling and seeing pictures of them hanging out with certain people or posting at certain times during the day, you’re not actually seeing what’s happening behind the scenes. You may be seeing pictures or posts and jumping to conclusions. You have your own life and so does your partner. Allow them to hang out with their own friends and family and participate in their own interests and hobbies, free of judgment. You should expect the same thing from them when it comes to your own friends, family, and hobbies as well.
You Are Fixating on the Wrong Things
When you’re spending your time mindlessly scrolling on social media posts, you’re only using it as a distraction from what’s actually going on in your life and your relationship. Scrolling through social media can actually make things worse. You may start to fixate on certain things that your partner is posting instead of what’s actually happening in your relationship. There may be things you want to discuss with them, but you may feel like you shouldn’t bring up certain things that are affecting you because you may have found out about them via their platform instead of directly from them.
How to Break the Cycle
If you’ve been mindlessly scrolling for a while, it may be hard to break the cycle. When you start the process of checking in and scrolling, it can be difficult to stop, especially once you start seeing things that you may not like. You may have a stronger pull to check in on them and even feel a larger disconnect when it comes to trust.
If you’re having a hard time with communication and trust in your relationship, reaching out for additional support is never a bad idea. Working with a therapist isn’t only for couples that are struggling. It’s actually a great way to strengthen and deepen the bond you already have.
Whether you’re interested in individual therapy, couples therapy, or a combination of the two, Integrative Psychotherapy Group is here for you. Reach out to us today to set up a consultation.