Dating, in and of itself, is a big thing. Big city dating, on the other hand, is a whole other thing. Everything moves at a different pace in large urban settings. Trying to find love in such an environment requires a unique blend of commitment and preparation. People in big cities may be situated more closely, but that does not always translate into casual interactions. Especially in a post-coronavirus society.
No wonder so many metropolitan dwellers have sought guidance from a dating coach.
The City That Never Sleeps (Together)
A study done all the way back in 1966 found that city residents can be flummoxed by the larger number of choices available in an urban dating pool. The same might be said for restaurants, entertainment venues, etc. A big city, by definition, offers more variety. Typically, those choices are also quite accessible. In the realm of dating, this can understandably make it trickier for folks to navigate.
Humans also have a tendency to seek a social “bubble” in crowded environments. Living in a big city can feel isolating. So, when we click with a group of friends, co-workers, classmates, or neighbors, we may not venture out of this group much. This uncomplicates your daily life but complicates your dating life. Simply put, urbanites are often less likely to expand their social networks. Social distancing has complicated things even further.
Another dating obstacle is the vast number of distractions in a large metropolis. Everyone seems so busy and, as mentioned above, locked into a social style. There is so much to do and see, it may just feel too overwhelming to stretch out of your comfort zone.
6 Signs You May Need a Big City Dating Coach
1. Social Anxiety
This is more than shyness. Social anxiety is a diagnosable disorder that can severely hamper your big city dating success. Fortunately, it is manageable, especially as we are all more adept at life online. A giant step in that direction involves asking for help.
2. No Nibbles on Your Profiles
It’s harder than it might look to craft an online dating profile that both:
- Reflects you at your best
- Draws attention among the masses
Why not consult a pro? You would do the same if you were building a business-related website, right?
3. Your Schedule is Jammed
The classic big city dilemma. As we’ve learned to adapt to life after COVID, finding time to date amid a myriad of more pressing concerns may be an issue. Working closely with a counselor may help you develop new time management skills.
4. Low Self-Esteem
Life can bring anyone down and that is usually not the best time to scrolling online profiles. Dating coaches can assist you to identify self-sabotaging patterns and replace them with healthier approaches.
Not everyone has a ton of relationship experience. Of course, there’s no shame in that. But it can ease your mind to have someone by your side as you dip your toe into the dating pool.
6. You Want to Maintain Your Current Relationship
Dating coaches and counselors help couples, too. Let’s say you’ve navigated the big city chaos and connected deeply with someone. It only makes sense that you (individually or as a couple) do the diligent work needed to keep your connection strong and flexible.
How to Find a Dating Coach
There are no certifications needed for someone to call themselves a “dating coach.” Don’t allow your search for guidance to become as difficult as your dating search. Reaching out to a trained therapist is the best way to make the best match. Do your homework. Find a counselor with a specialty in relationships. Reach out to them and ask about their big city knowledge. Once you find a compatible therapist, you can work on both big city dating and all the emotions you personally bring to the table.